Meherbai’s Mandli Visits New Restaurant

Meherbai loved Merwanji especially because of his chivalry and good manners. Feminist Freny hated Merwanji opening car-doors, pulling chairs and standing-up when a lady entered the room. Freny called it chibagiri but Merwanji called it chivalry.

Freny: But you are doing it all wrong, Meherwan! The old code of conduct says be nice to damsels in distress. Well, we are no longer in distress. We are all jabris like Jaloo. In fact, we give stress to our men. We can open our car doors ourselves and pull our own own chairs like Shernaaz aunty. It is you guys who behave like chibavla-chaklas.

That evening, Meherbai’s Mandli visited a posh restaurant for dinner. When somebody asked where they were heading, Goolu Gol-Gol immediately said Saparchan or is it Sakerteti? Jaloo and Aloo immediately corrected her and said the restaurant’s name is Watermelon or possibly Banana Boat. Villoo said it was Papao. Meherwanji had to intervene and inform the members that the new restaurant’s name was not Papao and neither Santra or Mosambi… but Papaya!

On reaching the restaurant, Merwanji, in his usual style, held the door for Jabri Jaloo. Unfortunately, he left the door a bit too soon and it hit Jalamai’s big fat rear, making her fall flat on her nose. “You silly man, who asked you to hold the door? Tamey door-keeper chev soo?” 

Merwanji:   Sorry maiji, tamuney lagoo ke vaagoo? 

Jaloo:  Laagoo bi ane vaagoo bi!

At the dinner table, as Merwanji had not learnt his lesson yet, he drew out a chair for Goolamai-Google who tried to sit too soon and fell flat on the ground screaming “Oh Khodaiji, mari gai ! Mahri kammar tuti-fruity thai gai!!”

Merwanji: Sorry Maiji. Tamuney laagoo ke vaagoo?

Goolamai gave a cold stare saying, “If you like the chair so much, why don’t you sit on it?”

Merwanji did try to sit on it but it had a defective leg so Merwanji’s kammar also became tuti-fruti along with a diboo (swelling) on his head. Aloo had great fun, calling it ‘ cherry on the top’!!

Goolamai Google asked! “Now how does it feel to fall off a chair? I hope tamuney lagu bi hoy and vaagu be hoy!.”

Soon the Head-Waiter arrived. Bomi-Bevdo said, “Let the husbands order.” The wives (all over 70) were upset and insisted on placing their own order which they did!

Soon, Limjibhai late-latif with his three sisters arrived late as usual, so Merwanji stood up out of respect for the ladies like a true-blue chivalrous man. It misfired and the first sister asked: “Jack-in-the-box ni mafak oobha saana thai gaya? Besi jao.” The second sister said,”Who do you think you are? Sir Gustadji Galahad? The third sister added, “You think we are from Queen Victoria’ jamaana? So indirectly, are you implying we are so old? Besi jao! “

As Merwanji sat down, Meherbai whispered to him, “Mehella, don’t waste your chivalry on these uneducated women. They are not worth it or used to it. Probably their husbands never open car-doors for them, draw chairs or pamper them!”

Halfway through the dinner, a bunch of rowdy college boys came and sat on the next table, loudly passing funny remarks about Meherbai’s Mandli.

Jabri Jaloo ordered, “Merwanji, go and punch all those boys and defend our honour. Tamey toh college maa boxing karta hata! Go Fight! Merwanji got up sheepishly while Meherbai sternly said, “Besi jao! Tamey ek aney those boys are 7 or 8, all young, hale and hearty. Hoshiyari na maro!”

Merwanji sat down pronto, so Jaloo asked Homai’s Homi to go and punch them. Homi took off his hearing-aid and announced, “Battery down che!”

Freny:”You stupid mannerless boys, beware! The men at our table, our handsome husbands (all over 80) will make kheema out of you!”

Aloo:  Kheema as well as kachumber!

The boys felt great pity for the old Bawajis and said: Aarey Madam-lok, just look at your husbands’ sad faces. Anyone married to Jabri Parsi women for so long has already become a kheema-kachumber himself. Jao jaane diya!”

While she was saying this, the food had already arrived and the men were busy eating, too busy to listen to the kaklat!

And soon, even the mandli got busy with the dinner, forgetting all else!