Meherbai’s Mandli Picnics In Alibaug

As readers know, the khanar-pinar, farnar-harnar members of Meherbai’s Mandli were all over 80 years and yet enjoyed life to the hilt! This time, they decided to go for a day’s picnic to Alibaug by the Ro-Ro ferry. As soon as everyone was on the boat, religious Rutty started doing her Kasti prayers in the Havan-Geh. She had even worn a skirt-blouse for this, plus taken her grand-mother’s tiny prayer-book from home. As luck would have it, the moth-eaten pages of the prayer-book started tearing
due to the heavy wind and flew like flying-saucers before falling into the Arabian Sea!

Rutty: Call the captain of this boat! Tell him to turn the boat around and retrieve the pages of my bapaiji’s prayer book!!
Alamai Eienstein: Mission Impossible! Even Tom Cruise, who does fantastic stunts, can’t do this!
Cowsie Kasari: Rutty, don’t be sad. I’ll tell you a joke. Do you know why Tim Cook came to India a few weeks ago?
Rutty: Probably to cook! Is he a bavarchi?
Cowsie: Noooo!! To promote his cell-phones, made under the famous ‘Apple’ brand.
Rutty: We don’t get apples in India or what?
Abbhan Aban: Arrey nahi re! Cook bawa came and met our Madhuri Dixit because she kept calling him in her song, ‘Choli ke peechey kya hai?’ singing cook-cook-cook-cook!!
Fali Fekoo: Tim Cook is related to Captain Cook!
Keki Khadhro: Stop talking of cook and apples. It makes me hungry.
Keki’s Wife: Keks! Keks! Take out your meli-gheli bajar-ni-theli for left-overs!!
Keki Khadhro: Now? Even before lunch is served?
The Wife: Yes, now! If anyone offers you something, saying, ‘Just taste a little’, tell them, “I’ll taste it at home,” and put the whole paper-plate in your theli. Kaal nu bhonu thai jasey!
Kersi Kanglo: Guys! I can’t have a whole glass of draft-beer. Someone go halves with me. We’ll share a glass.
Khadhro Keki: Only if you pay for the full glass!
Kersi: Yeah sure! Be my guest.

The beer arrived and Keka drinks up the whole glass! Only some foam remained!

Kersi: You drank-up my half?
Keki: Yes. Because my half was at the bottom of the glass!!
Kek’s Wife: Good show Keks. I am so proud of you!
Lovjibhai Lambo: Which tea leaves do you use?
Bar Tender: Saab, we use Vagh-Bakri Chai.
Lovejibhai: Good. I’ll have my tea on the upper deck. Batak can have it here with the Mandli. Because its Vagh-Bakri chai. If I drink it alone, I will feel like a tiger (Vagh) but if I drink it with my Batki Batak, I would surely feel like a goat (Bakri).

Lovejibhai goes up the steep steps of the RO-RO boat, slips a step and the teacup falls from his hand to land on Temulji’s Taklu (bald-head)!

Temulji: Soo karoj?? Mahri taalki bari gai, my brain must have become Bheja-fry! Hoon tamara par case karas! See you in Court.
Meherwanji: What’s this nonsense of jara-jara ma ‘Case Karas’ ? Are you a BPP Trustee or what? Lovejibhai say sorry and both of you shake hands and become friends!
Lovejibhai goes again to the refreshment space for another cup
of tea.
Banoo Batak: Ketli chai? Second cup??
Poor Lovejibhai had to explain everything, got Batak’s permission and took the second cup of tea to the deck. Just when he was about to take a sip, his wrestler friend, Gustad Gendo gave him a hearty slap (dhamelo) on his back, asking, ‘Kem Cheo?’

Due to the dhamelo, Lovejibhai’s second cup of tea fell overboard into the waters of the Arabian Sea! Once
again Lovejibhai had to take Batak’s permission for fetching his third cup of tea. So instead of enjoying his tea like a tiger (vagh), Lovejibhai had tea like a goat (Bakri) with his Batak-wife. Post refreshments, the Mandli played Antakshri, after which the house was thrown open to members like an open-mic, where one could share whatever they wished… here are some gems:

Adi Adagro: The difference between in-laws and out-laws is, that out-laws are WANTED!
Baji Bunpao: Alcohol is a perfect solvent – it dissolves marriages, families and careers.
Aspi Aspro: They say that alchohol kills slowly!
Polly Pipyu: So what? Who’s in a hurry?
Amy Atom Bomb: A fine is a tax for doing something wrong and a tax is a fine for doing something well!!
Polly Pipyu was generally acknowledged by the Mandli as the Pandit of Puns, so he was requested by the Mandli to part with his wisdom and regale the audience…
Polly Pipyu: A man who wants a pretty nurse, must be ‘patient’!….. A man running in front of the car, gets ‘tyred’! ….. War doesn’t determine who’s right. It determines who’s left! …..
A man who drives like ‘hell’, is bound to get there! ….. A lion will not cheat
on his wife, but a tiger ‘ Wood’! .…. Toilets are a great place to think and get ideas – that’s why they are called SOCHA-LAYAS! In France, there’s a Sun-dial with a couplet saying, ‘Time Makes Love Pass and Love Makes
Time Pass!’

There was so much love, laughter, madness and fun among the Mandli that they lost track of time. Love indeed makes time pass! In fact, the Mandli didn’t even realise that all the other passengers had gotten off at Alibaug, and the boat had returned to Bhau-Cha-Dhakka!!

Abbhan Aban: Hey folks! Look!! A Gateway of India in Alibaug!!
Baji Bun-pao: Also a Taj Hotel in Alibaug!! Everything same to same!
Meherbai: Oh God!! This is not Alibaug. Folks, we have returned to Amchi Mumbai!
The Mandli: All because of Adi’s koila jokes and Polly’s sadela puns! Now tell these two gentlemen to rebook
our tickets to Alibaug next week at their cost!

On this note, the Mandli disembarked from the boat – disappointed but happy. As always, they knew that Meherbai would soon arrange another trip for them
to Alibaug!